27 Reasons not to visit Tenerife

What’s this picture of a huge mountain covered in snow doing in an article about the “Island of Spring”?

Teide with snow

That’s Mount Teide, Spain’s highest mountain. That’s right. You might think that you’ve come to spend your summer vacation, but as you’re laying on the beach, you see this:

Tenerife Island Landscape Teide and Beach

Actually, because of its size, this monstrous volcano will show up in almost every picture

Sunset

And even if it’s not Teide that you’re seeing, there are steep valleys and high mountains all over the place, blocking your view of what’s around you

Coastside

You may think: Why do I care? I’m just going to spend my time by the beach! Good for you, just be aware that the beaches there are no different than anywhere else in the world…

Playa Jardin

…There’s really just nothing special about them.

Beach

With its barely varying temperatures of 22 – 24 degrees all year around and the lack of changing seasons, the “Island of Spring” should rename itself to “Island of Boredom”

Beach Tenerife

If you get lost somewhere in the forest, chances are you’ll never find your way out. It’s what happens to most of the nature-loving hikers who come here only to explore the endless woods

Forest

And the higher up you go, the weirder it gets: there’ll be towns randomly appearing out of nowhere.

Masca, Buenavista del Norte

Before you know it, you would’ve reached the stage of “moonland;” one of the side-effects of being on an island originated from a volcano.

Paisaje Lunar, Granadilla de Abona

Never drive up to the Teide National Park at night, as the only source of light will be the stars.

Tenerife Sky

If you have a partner, you might want to think of another destination. This place is a romance-killer.

Sunset Landscape

Even the sunsets are dismissable

Atardecer en playa de Tenerife

Especially with all those boats in the way

Playa de las Teresitas

And once you’ve given in and decided to make the fishing boat part of your picture, there are obnoxious, attention-seeking birds everywhere.

Tenerife Sports

The local dolphins from that area are total show-offs

flying dolphin

And there are banana plantations everywhere

Rambla de Castro, Los Realejos

Don’t come here expecting to be able to swim in the ocean in peace…surfers will come in your way

Tenerife Surf

as well as windsurfers…

Campeonato del Mundo de Windsurf

and kitesurfers…

El Medano by Jose Mesa

And sadly, the underwater world is just as boring as the one up top

Tenerife despertará tus sentidos by Turismo de Tenerife

What’s worse, you probably won’t even be able to find entertainment in the capital, Santa Cruz

Plaza de España, Santa Cruz de Tenerife by Turismo de Tenerife

The only cool thing they have over there is that thing from Sydney

Auditorio by Turismo de Tenerife

If you’re looking for culture, look somewhere else.

Traditional Festivals

It’s an island only for old people. Nothing exciting ever happens there

Mueca Tenerife

Especially during carnival season

Carnival Tenerife

If I were you, I wouldn’t waste my time on this boring, monotonous place.

Beach Sunset Landscape

As you may have already sensed from the tone, I am in no way serious about any of the statements just made. I have gone on many, many trips to this island and I will go on many more. Because of its diverse nature, climate and culture, it truthfully never gets boring. If you are looking for a trip that will include more than just laying by the pool, then this island is just the right place for you. I truly recommend it to everyone as I know it is so worth a visit.  

All pictures by Turismo de Tenerife are licensed under All rights reserved
El Medano by Jose Mesa is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

2018-04-16T08:09:17+00:00
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